When I have grown a foot or two…

Jeff is maturing right before our eyes and it is a wonder to behold.  His hormonal angst and testosterone surges are gradually mellowing into a more even keeled rock of quiet and stability.

Jeff playing at the WOW Childrens Museum
I think it is terrible to stereotype and box our children in with identifying characteristics that pidgeonhole them into a noxious mix of negative classifications.

I hate that all of the identifying terms that Psychiatry uses to catagorize and pathologize childhood behaviors are negative.

And I also reject the notion that a pill for all those catagories of behavior will “fix”and “cure” said behaviors.

All of us have experienced traumas that contribute to certain personality traits and it is when we begin to dig below the surface of such traits that we can learn to understand and accept each other as human beings.

The love I feel for my 17 year old son is multiplied because of his quirks of behavior.

I have often thought as I have watched him negotiate the tempestuous waters of modern life that if a professional were to have access to him and his siblings as they matriculated through childhood exhibiting normal reactions to a variety of life events, that they could easily have been diagnosed as mentally ill during periods of adolescent angst and childhood development.

My heart has been broken observing the large numbers of children in our day to day life whose parents have bent to the pressure to dose children with toxic psychiatric meds believing the answers for “normal” childhood behavior was to be found in a pill.

If nothing else, I am grateful for my early exposure to the tortured world of Psychiatry if only because of the first hand education I received by interfacing with it for a time and then spending so many years researching and learning how to be well. While I personally have benefitted from the education and up front view, my children have also been able to enjoy health freedom because I was never tempted to go looking for an answer in a pill.  I can understand the seduction to medicate though.

At times as certain children have slowly worked through various hurts and traumas we were not sure we could stand living with them.  Jeffrey has been our little fireball of fury and angst from the moment he was born.  A high need baby and about as a demanding personality type as you will ever meet, at times Paul and I wanted to run away because of various frustrating episodes with this son o mine.

But as we gradually worked through each issue as it presented, we found the patience and the strength to lovingly muster through every storm that presented.  And now, as he prepares to leave, I find myself looking back and remembering, so many sweet and spiritual moments with him.

Please mamas, don’t give in to the temptation to medicate normal childhood behaviors.  You may think you have “helped” your child by drugging them into obedience or quiet.  But often this medicating simply kicks the problem down the road, and so many unexpected side effects from the drugs show up that you can’t see the forrest for the trees.

We have so many tools at our disposal to help that don’t contain toxic ingredients.  Essential oils have been our tool of choice to calm, heal, and comfort when life overwhelmed and one of the children melted down in tears and rage.  Prayer and priesthood blessings have also been powerful, specific means to help our children when they were troubled by life.

It is my prayer this day that all families will be able to understand the long term consequences of using drugs to raise our children.


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